


The distance between

by mardi89



Category: Hercai (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, True Love, reyyan ran away au, season 3 opener AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-22 22:59:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23101738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mardi89/pseuds/mardi89
Summary: This was inspired by the second season 2 teaser & the desire for Reyyan to run away, as was written in the novel. This is an AU for how I would want season 3 to start. I hope you enjoy!
Relationships: ReyMir
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	1. Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter song: Breathe Again - Sara Bareilles

It was still very warm, but the air had a sharpness to it in the afternoons, a sure sign of Autumn. The smell of the sea was always present, but lately it had seemed so immediate to her, as if it came out of her very pores. She’d only lived near the sea for a few months, but she couldn’t imagine her life without it. It was one of the only things that still brought her joy. 

She’d moved to Izmir for a fresh start, but her past haunted her, as it always would. She wasn’t running away, but she embraced the change, the opportunity to be someone else. She had something here that she’d never had before: freedom. University, her own apartment, even grocery shopping were things she’d never thought she could do for herself. Pride swelled in her chest with every new achievement, but not long after loneliness would wash over her like the tide. 

It wasn’t a foreign feeling, even with loving parents and a little sister, she’d felt a sense of loneliness deep within her whole life. Until  _ him _ . He came into her life like a storm, destroying everything but bringing with it the chance for new life. He was all the missing parts of her, but now he was gone and nothing could fill the void. She didn’t try to fill it, she didn’t want to. It felt wrong, to put something in his place, so she tried to create new happinesses for herself. She took time to appreciate all the little things that were good in her life and blocked out anything that reminded her of him. But at night, when her mind used sleep to freely roam, all she saw was him. 

She was walking to class on one of those warm but sharp Autumn afternoons when her mind conjured up an image of him. This wasn’t uncommon, but hadn’t happened during the day in quite some time. She thought she had a hold of it, but she’d been slipping. It was odd, he looked different than how she saw him in her dreams. And one second he was there, the next  _ gone _ . She shook her head and continued walking, reciting to herself all the organs in the thoracic cavity and pulling the strap of her messenger bag tighter across her chest in hopes of reigning in her heart. 

Her biology class went well, but she couldn’t shake the feeling of an impending breakdown. She raced out of the lecture hall as soon as class was dismissed, holding her hand over her heart as if she could keep it in one piece. Normally she enjoyed the long walk to her quiet neighborhood, but today she wished more than ever to be a bird, to fly fast and far from everyone. Finally she reached the last leg of her journey, a crossroads; turn left up a steep hill and many stairs, or right through ancient twisting alleyways. She’d only successfully completed the maze to her right one time before, but she already felt lightheaded from the panic in her chest and didn’t think she could make it up the stairway. She turned right, hastily piecing together the route home in her head. 

Soon enough she found herself down an unfamiliar street, cursing herself and trying to calm herself all at once, when the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. Her panic and frustration were forgotten. She could feel someone there with her, following her. The heavy feeling of dread flooded her veins, taking over all thoughts and actions. It was fight or flight. So she grew wings and flew. 

She hadn’t ran like that in so long that in a way it felt good, to move through the streets with such reckless abandon. But the endorphins flooding her system were no match to the adrenaline screaming danger in every part of her body. Her senses were on overdrive. She could hear his footfalls behind hers, knew that he was gaining on her, could sense his size just by the sound he made and the presence she felt. Her mind was so preoccupied w/ her would-be attacker though, that it was unable to map out a route to safety, and she stopped short when she reached a dead end. There was no way forward. The old abandoned house at the end of the alley seemed to loom over her as an omen of coming death. 

She squeezed her eyes shut tight and began to pray. She asked her father’s forgiveness for not being more vigilant, she remembered the last time she hugged her mother and kissed her sister, she asked God to keep her beloved safe and to reunite them when his time came. She grabbed her bag and clutched it tightly in front of her, protectively, then sent out one last prayer before the heavy footsteps stopped right behind her. 


	2. She is the sunlight, and the sun is gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song: She Is The Sunlight by Trading Yesterday

He could smell her scent from where he was, mere feet from her. He could smell her fear too. It wasn’t his intention to frighten her, but he couldn’t afford to lose her. It had taken him months to track her down but it ultimately all came down to luck. He’d finally found her on a roster for a small local school in Izmir, so took his chance simply walking around the campus when he spotted her near the science building after only a few hours of people watching. He didn’t know her schedule, or if she had a job, or where she lived, or  _ who  _ she lived with. He had to take this fortuitous opportunity, so he waited outside for her to emerge from class, and when she did he followed her. 

Why he didn’t just run to her and scoop her up in his arms and never let her go, he wasn’t sure. His palms itched with the need to touch her. When he saw her beautiful face, her hair longer than ever, and her petite frame in a trendy style smock dress, his throat went dry. She looked good, happy. He wasn’t sure why that hurt him so much. It was probably because he was a selfish jealous man, but he’d been working on that. He understood that the situation they found themselves in now was entirely for her own good, and he was forced to respect that. He’d waited, he’d obeyed. But now, seeing her again, he could feel himself losing control. 

The magnetic pull she emanated was in full force, even after months away. He could see that she only stopped because she hit a dead end, and that she was terrified. Still he approached, scolded his hands for reaching out to her, but stepped close enough that she could feel the shadow of him on her back. Did she refuse to turn around? Had she seen him earlier? Did she know it was him? Or think it was someone more sinister? The time away from her had done something irreparable to his brain and he wasn’t sure of anything anymore. Was she running from him? Did she even want him there?

Suddenly she spun in place. The air left his lungs when her shocked eyes met his. Tears sprang forth immediately and threatened to fall. He was moments from a breakdown, unsure if her close proximity was causing it or curing it. 

“Miran?” her soft voice was full of surprise and  _ relief _ ?

He stood rigid, jaw clenched, forbidding himself to fall sobbing to her feet. She needed him to be strong.

“Miran?” she said while taking the two small steps to reach him, asking with her eyes if he was alright.

He wasn’t alright. He didn’t know if he ever would be again.

She held her messenger bag in front of her defensively, and when she moved closer to him a shaft of light from the setting sun glinted off a ring on her left hand. He stared at it.

“You still wear it?” his mother’s ring, her wedding ring. 

“Yes. You gave it to me.” was her simple explanation.

His tears fell then. 

She released her bag and let it hang at her side so she could reach out to brush the hair out of his eyes. He hadn’t cut it since she left.  _ She left. _ But she was here now, touching his face and looking at him so beautifully, like she did before. There were tears in her eyes too, but she didn’t look sad. She looked like she missed him, like she  _ loved  _ him.

The warmth of her chocolatey eyes melted his icy barriers and he broke down, pulling her firmly into him. He intended to crush her to him until their heartbeats were one, but he stopped almost instantaneously. His hands shook as they moved from her back to her small waist to her stomach.  He couldn’t tear his eyes or hands away from the swell of her belly which was well hidden under her bohemian smock dress.

He could tell she was crying, but he couldn’t bring himself to look at her face. It felt like someone was cutting his heart out of his chest with a dull knife. Finding out she was gone wasn’t as painful to him as this. At least then he had hope. But now…

He heard her let out a quiet sob then take a deep breath. 

“I tried to tell you. Do you remember?”


	3. Has the grave won again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song: Black Parade by Gin Wigmore

**Four months earlier...**

_He was so pale. It made her feel sick. He looked like a little boy laying there, even though his large frame took up the entire hospital bed. The doctors had just pulled three bullets out of him. He needed rest, she knew, but she couldn’t leave. What if it was the last time she ever saw him?_

_She didn’t realize she was wailing until she felt her father’s firm hand on her shoulder._

_“You have to go.” Hazar whispered into her ear as he held her tightly, pulling her away from where she crumpled in the chair beside the bed._

_“I can’t baba!” her heart was tearing in two._

_“It’s what he would want. Those bullets were meant for you.”_

_“I can’t leave him.” she tried to lunge back to the bed, but her father was stronger._

_“You know I understand you better than anyone else could. But Reyyan, I couldn’t protect Dilshah. I can protect you. I can help Miran do what I couldn’t do.”_

_She stilled in his arms, understanding and acceptance pouring over her like cold water._

_“I need him to know baba. I have to tell him.” she said through drowning tears._

_Hazar didn’t seem like he fully understood her meaning, but let her go to her beloved regardless._

_She stood near the head of the bed not touching him, but memorizing his face for a brief moment. Then she held his right hand with her left, pressing Dilshah’s ring into his skin, so he knew. Her right hand fluttered near his face, like carved marble, all sharp lines but soft to the touch and nearly as cold. Her fingers stroked his beard in the way he liked while she bent her head low to whisper in his ear so only he could hear. She prayed he could hear._

_“You told me no matter where I went, you would find me. I’ll wait for you. I believe in you. Our love will bring you back to me, because our love will never die. The proof of your love for me lives inside me. Wake up, for the sun will shine on us again. We will be a family. Find me. Find us.”_

_Then she let her father slowly pull her away and out of the room. The last detail she remembered was his dark hair staining the white of his pillow like ink on parchment. She felt the darkness stain her heart, spreading through her body the further she went from him._

_She didn’t say goodbye. She didn’t pack anything or ask for anything, just boarded a bus with only the clothes on her back and the wads of cash her father had given her. He asked that she not tell him or anyone where she was headed, that she destroy her phone and buy a new one, that she not contact anyone or try to come home until she somehow received word._

_“I should have done this long ago. I’m sorry kizim. I promise to look after him.” as her father cracked and broke down she turned to stone._

_As the bus pulled out of the station she stared out the window into the grey dawn and tried to slow her tears. She had to trust her father, she had to trust that Miran would come back to her. She had to believe that she was doing the right thing for their child. Because if she lost faith in any of those things her world would come crashing down around her. She wouldn’t survive._


	4. Just as long as you stand, stand by me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song: Stand By Me by Kina Grannis & Imaginary Future

He finally looked into her eyes, but his hands didn't leave their child. He looked at her with shock and wonder. 

“I had a dream. I didn’t think it was real.” disbelief quieted his voice.

“Tell me.” she held his face with her right hand, her left on top of his, embracing their child. 

“The sun beat down on me. I was resting outside on a beautiful day. I felt a small hand in mine. It woke me.”

Her tears dripped into her wide smile. His ears may not have heard her, but his mind did. Their child guided him back to her. Gave him hope.

“But I woke up alone in the hospital. And when I knew you were gone, it became my nightmare.”

“I’m sorry-”

“It’s okay. Your father told me everything.” he wiped her tears with his thumbs.

She held his face in her hands and felt the scratch of his beard on her palms while she looked into his eyes. 

“Let’s go home.”

He looked stunned for a second before he realized what she meant. She slid her hands from his face down his neck and chest to his arm and finally his hand. She pulled him out of the dead end street, excited to show him where she lived. 

He insisted on carrying her bag for her so when she reached the landing in front of her door she had to fish her out her keys, bringing her close enough to smell his soft masculine scent. She could feel his eyes on her and it gave her the same thrill it always had. When she had the keys in hand she looked up at him coyly. He still looked a little disbelieving, like she was just a figment of his imagination, but the heat was still there. 

She turned around and quickly unlocked the door before she could do something inappropriate. Just the act of letting a man into her apartment would be enough for her older neighbors to gossip. They knew her as the quiet and solitary college girl, but that’s all she wanted to be known as. She didn’t interact much with them, she had to fly under the radar as much as possible to protect herself and her baby. Besides, she didn’t want to have to lie to anyone unless it was completely necessary. As the door swung open and she ushered him through, she could practically hear the teyzes whispering over their tea and baklava.

The thought of tea time became immediately appealing to her as she locked the door behind them. She was always hungry nowadays, and happiness had brought with it a renewed desire for the simple pleasures of life. She turned to see him standing in the middle of her kitchen, looking through to the rest of the apartment. He looked a little strange there, out of place. She’d never imagined him in these spaces. It would have been too painful. His large frame made her small flat look even tinier, but it was not at all unwelcome. 

“Are you hungry? I’m going to make tea.”

He stumbled out of his reverie and dropped her bag to the ground as he turned around. 

“Yes.”

The speed with which he answered and the lift at the corner of his mouth made her smile and blush. A pang of longing touched her heart as she readied the tea. She’d  _ missed  _ him. It hit her so hard suddenly that she nearly spilled the water. She didn’t allow herself to  _ feel  _ here. And now that he was in the same room with her it all became too much. She pulled out a chair and quickly sat at the kitchen table. 

In a flash he was there at her knee. 

“Are you alright? Is it the baby?” fear etched his face, his knuckles white from the tight grip on her thighs. 

Tears trickled out even as she smiled at him. His concern was endearing, but his novice showed. He’d learn. 

“I just missed you. Stupid hormones.” she giggled and wiped her face with the back of her hand. 

He looked amused even if a little overwhelmed. 

“Well, I’m right here.”

She welled up again so all she could do was nod before wrapping her arms around his neck and holding on tight. 

There in the middle of her kitchen in a small flat in Izmir she began to heal. The strength of his arms pushed her pieces together. The steadiness of his breath filled her lungs. The deep thrum of his heart made the blood rush in her veins. She’d found her missing piece, and felt it slot into place. 

Neither wanted to let go, but the kettle was boiling and her stomach was growling and her husband wasn’t about to let his pregnant wife go hungry. He forbade her from getting up, but rather searched the cupboards and brought sandwich fixings to her at the table. They made their own sandwiches, and when she had completed her concoction he raised a brow in question but said nothing. At least he knew enough about pregnancy and the resulting cravings to know that you don’t intervene when food is involved. 

She studied him as he ate. His hair fell in his eyes in a boyish way that she unexpectedly loved. And when he peeked at her after taking giant mouthfuls his eyes seemed to glow more than they usually did. She decided not to let him cut his hair, for a while at least. He always ate with gusto, but watching him she could see how he savored every bite, as if he hadn’t tasted food in months. She knew because she felt the same. 

“Your father visited me in the hospital. Did you know?”

She was pulled out of her reverie by his abrupt change in demeanor.

“Of course you didn’t know, I’m sorry.”

“Will you tell me about him? About them?”

He took her hands in his then, resting them on the table. A small sad smile lit his face before he began. 

“He would sneak into my room at night, when he thought I was asleep.”

“He told me he would watch over you.” she felt her tears well but held them back.

“He did? He told me he did the same for you. How he sent you away. But that first night...It almost killed me over again not to see you when I woke up.”

“I’m sorry.” a rogue tear fell.

“Hey, you can’t be sorry okay? I’m not sorry your father sent you away. And I’m certainly not sorry you protected yourself and our child.” he was trying to be strong for her but she saw the pain in his eyes.

He wiped her tear and continued.

“He refused to tell me anything until I was discharged from the hospital. Looking back it was for my own good, but at the time I hated him for it. When I was mostly healed he told me that you’d gone no one knew where, and if I were to look for you I shouldn’t tell a single soul anything I found out. Not even him.”

“Is baba okay then? My family? Gul?”

“They are coping. But nothing has been the same since you left.”

“And your- Azize?”

“Mahmut was arrested, but he refused to talk so they can’t link anything to her.”

“And the enmity?”

“Still ongoing. Though she is the only one who still believes in it. Even your grandfather has stopped engaging, but she won’t stop her games. She never will.” the haunted look in his eyes frightened her to her core.

“Miran-”

“I’m alright. Now that I’m with you.”

She scooted closer to him then and held his face in her hands.

“But you weren’t alright, were you?”

“Neither were you.”

“No, I wasn’t. But I was away from danger. You were there, fighting for us.”

“I still feel guilty, leaving them there in the middle of it. But I had to find you. I- I couldn’t breathe.” his jaw tensed and his words died out toward the end, his emotions getting the best of him.

“I know.” she rubbed her thumbs over his jet black stubble. “I had to force myself to eat. I felt sick with worry. But the baby made me try.”

He looked down at her soft round belly and then to her for permission before placing his large hands there.

“She made me want to enter school, to try to eat healthy, to sleep as much as I could. Sometimes I had no choice, she just demanded. But other times I thought of you and what you would want for me and I tried to take care of myself the way you would if you could.”

“She?” he looked up at her with a mischievous grin.

She pushed at his chest but he caught her by the wrists and she giggled.

“Yes. I had a dream. Besides, you told me how you wanted a girl that looked like me.”

“I did. And I do. I hope you’re right.”

“I am right.” she was happier than she’d maybe ever been in her life.

She felt his gaze fall on her lips then and she knew what he wanted. She wanted it to. So she tilted her chin up and closed her eyes when she felt the tip of his nose brush hers. His lips touched hers so gently at first, like he was afraid she would break, but then a rush of desire broke the dam. He pulled her into him so hard she thought she might have marks on her wrists. A tingle ran down her spine at the pleasure of it. She’d missed him for so long, waited for him. Now she wanted to feel him, have him possess her, become whole again.

As if he could read her mind, he pulled them both up out of their chairs and out of the kitchen. He guided her down the hall, really the only way to go in the small apartment, and she pushed him toward the correct door. She could feel the tips of his fingers dig into her flesh, but his hands were gentle, as if his need was overwhelming him but at the same time he was afraid of damaging her. She pushed the door open with her right hand then wrapped it around the back of his neck and wound it into his hair. Pushing herself further into him and pulling his hair to let him know she wouldn’t break. 

He backed her up to the bed but stopped suddenly, unsure of the logistics of making love to a pregnant woman on a full size mattress. 

“It’s okay.” she reassured him as she pulled him down to sit next to her on the bed.

He held her face in his trembling hands and just  _ looked  _ at her for a long moment before uttering the words she’d longed to hear.

“I love you.”

“And I love you.”

She could see something shift in his eyes then, and felt him take a deep easy breath. She felt the same.

He laid her down on her small bed and she pulled him down to her. It was awkward and a little clumsy on such a small bed and with the swell of their child between them, but they healed each other. They were one again, just as they were meant to be. 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment and let me know how you felt!


End file.
